The Journey To Authenticity & My Mean Brain

A healthy challenge I’ve been assigned is to “reconnect & uncover” different parts of myself that have been buried under this world’s standards.

What are my gifts? Talents? Passions? Dislikes? Weaknesses? Interests? Eccentricities?

I’m supposed to truly take my time. Dig deep. Write down my answers, internalize them, and ACCEPT them.

I have a very hard time thinking about myself. I get into the negative thought processes of “Who are you? & Why do think you’re important enough to be thought of?”

I can now recognize this negative back talk for what it is and resist the thought of accepting it. Although, there are still many days where I feel undeserving of this unfathomable love that the Lord lavishes on “lil ol me.”

I am also advised to include others, by asking them about how they feel about me. My strengths & weaknesses. It’s even harder for me to talk about this stuff worth others. This exercise is going to totally push me out of my comfort zone.

Does anyone else struggle with this type of negative back talk from their brain? What do you do to quiet the thoughts?


The Season Of Good & Hurtful Lessons

There have been so many changes. Some days I can barely keep up.

A very successful business created from nothing and made into something, nearly overnight. A move to a bigger house that has become our refuge against the world. A happy home. Smiling children. Content parents. Enough money to pay our bills on time and the ability to help others financially at times! I feel in this season we have all grown closer as a family. Open communication between teenagers and parents! (That is success!) I feel that our youngest is finally beginning to see the big picture. She’s gained so much maturity and has such a loving heart. So many good changes!

There have been losses. Major losses. Some so painful I’m afraid the holes in my heart will never heal. People lost that I thought would be side by side with us for a lifetime. Gone. Over night.

If this season in life has taught me anything, it’s taught me God is my provider. He’s always on time. Never late, but usually never early. It has taught me I can survive anything. Even if my brain is telling me I cannot go another step, He keeps me going. It has taught me about the type of woman, wife, and mother I want to be. It’s taught me, contrary to what my brain says sometimes, I’m very truly blessed beyond my dreams. It’s taught me to hang on to the good stuff and let go of the bad as soon as my heart can stand it.

Leaving 2017 behind and moving into 2018 soon brings so much hope and promise to my heart. I’m not sure what the future holds, but I know God hold my future and I know He has been persistent in loving me since before time began. I know I can move forward without fear.

UnBiological Mothers Day

It’s sooo easy in our daily lives to forget our worth as women. As wives. As mothers.

Mother’s Day is always a tough one for me. I have no biological children of my own. I do, however, have 3 beautiful children that I raise (as my own) each & every day. We’ve been a family for years now. They call me mama/mommy. They’re mine in every way except genetic makeup.

The enemy will use whatever he can to make you feel inferior. He’ll give you every lie that will rip up your insides. He’ll convince you you’re nothing. He’ll have you so confused, doubting yourself, if you let him!!

I got wrapped up in that negative self talk yesterday. It could’ve ruined my whole day, but instead God has surrounded me with people that know me. Love me. & refuse to let me discount the love my kids have for me. The blood, sweat, & tears I’ve given to raise them (just like everyday “real” mom’s.)

The enemy will never stop his lying trash talk, but luckily for us God goes before us β˜†&β˜† walks with us. We are never alone. He puts beautiful people in our lives so that when we do stumble or just feel like we’re just so unworthy, they can speak TRUTH & LIFE back into our hurting souls. People that can say, “Hey I know this is what you are thinking, but here’s REALITY!”

Biology is the least important factor in being a mother. Time. Love. Tears. Laughter. Prayers. Those ALL count more. Thank you Father for teaching this mother a very important lesson on Mother’s Day. β™‘

Everyday Happy: A Whistle While I Work

stained_heartI was listening to a Podcast this last week that talked about doing everything for God with JOY!Β It said, no matter what it was, do it 100% and do it for God. Whether you’re the CEO of a major corporation or a stay-at-home mom, do your “job” to the best of your ability and do it for our Father!

This devo really got to my heart! As a stay-at-home mom I always have plenty to do. I choose to be home with my kids. I love being able to be with them, but at the same time, day after day of the same routine gets old. And I, like most people that do the same thing day after day, sometimes do so grudgingly. It’s easy to get into a bad habit of doing it, just to have it done. In this, I am guilty.

So anyway, after hearing this Podcast I decided that I would do the laundry, WITH PURPOSE! Ha! The whole time I was doing it I was talking to God!

“Lord, I know you said to do this laundry for YOU! Lord, I know that it should be done 100% for YOUR glory, Lord I HATE LAUNDRY!! πŸ™‚

That was the first chore I chose to do that day. I went on to each chore that day, “trying” to do my “best.” I just couldn’t get into the swing of it. I know, I felt like I should have it more together than this. I mean, in the big scheme of things this should’ve been the EASIEST thing that I could’ve been called to do. I love my family, why couldn’t I just enjoy doing it!? I mean, I love them. I love that I’m able to be home with them each day, so WHY COULDN’T I JUST GET IT DONE WITH JOY!? I kept on trying at it all week…

This morning, I noticed a definite change! While cleaning out the cabinets and rearranging the kitchen I realized I was WHISTLING worship songs! My heart was happy and I was joyful while cleaning the kitchen. After that, after realizing that I CAN enjoy every chore, while doing it for the glory of God, I did it ON PURPOSE the rest of the day! (Even while doing laundry!!)

I LOVE how the Lord works! It never ceases to AMAZE ME!

Today I was happy about working 100% for God, even in my own small way! Find something that needs to be done, no matter the size of the task, and set your heart to doing it for our Father! Honor Him. ❀


Love Like Jesus Does

winter_sunsetI’ve heard all my life how much Jesus loves me. From the beginning, into eternity. The first Bible school song I ever learned was, “Jesus Loves Me.” I used to sing it all day long. To schoool and home. To church and home. i would belt out that song as a child and it would fill my heart with happiness.

What I’m just learning is HOW Jesus loves me. He loves me when I follow Him. He loves me when I stray. He loves me when I love others. He loves me when I do not. His love for me and others is eternal. Meaning, not just as I walk this earth, but into forever.

I’m also learning as an adult, for the first time, that I did absolutely NOTHING to gain his love. Although I’ve never been worthy of His love, He loves me just the same. I have spent years and years hating myself. Feeling that I wasn’t worthy of any type of love, yet here He is with his mercy & forgiveness.

As a person, I’ve been a decent one. I’m not a murderer. I’m not a thief. We as a society have become so tolerant of misbehavior that we make excuses for sin. But the Bible explains that there is no greater sin than another sin. A sin, is a sin, is a sin. I thought I was a good person because I hadn’t killed anyone, but my daily sins keep my soul as black as a murderers. Pride, jealousy, hatred, unforgiveness. These are all things that I’ve been guilty of throughout my whole life, like most other people.

Though I fail my Father everyday, I know that through Jesus Christ I am forgiven. If Jesus can forgive me the things I’ve done and love me through it all, who am I to be unforgiving? Who am to judge? Who am I to hold hatred in my heart?

Lord, Help me to cling to You each day! Put my hand in Your hand. Help me to walk with You everyday of my life. Help me know the TRUE meaning of loving like Jesus loves! Help me to let go of these earthly feelings and only look to YOU for answers and acceptance. I know Jesus died for me. I know that he was resurrected! I know the battle that He fought for me. I know the pain He felt for me. Lord, help me to LOVE like Jesus does. In Jesus name, AMEN!

Praying With My Kids

Nothing in this world feels as good as seeing your kids bow their heads and pray to our Heavenly Father.

This week I’ve been making sure to take time to pray with my kids. All of us in a circle, holding hands, as a family. One unit. It’s powerful people!

It feels my heart to the point of overflowing to talk to my kids about what they want to pray about. Who they want to pray for. What they want to give thanks for from that day.

Some day they will pray with their children, hand and hand, as a family. Someday I will get to take my grandchildren to church with me. All because of the habits and traditions we are learning and making today.

Tonight our oldest wanted to pray about his exams he’s taking tomorrow. Our middle son wanted to pray for his tooth that has been fixed several times. (He broke it at the end of school last year on a scooter) Our youngest surprised me tonight with saying that she wanted to pray for us all to be happy every day. They also prayed for all of our family to join us at church soon. They prayed for their birth mother, as we do every night. They each were filled with thanks also: good weather, family time together, life.

Each child is so different, yet so much alike. They each have amazing hearts. They think of others. They think of each other. I really believe I was blessed with the BEST kids a mom could ever ask for. Thank you sweet Lord for blessing me with more than I deserve. Thank you for my husband and my children.

I’m a simple woman. I enjoy a simple life. I love simple (yet overwhelming) times with my children.

Yesterday evening my two youngest told me that they have started praying before they eat at school. My youngest said that she prayed before her spelling test yesterday (she scored a 105!)

I love that the changes that I started making in my own life are spilling over into the lives of my children. That they are believers & doers & learning to walk with Christ! This fills my heart! I am one joyous Mama!

I know that raising kids is hard. I know that they won’t always stay on track and at times it will be difficult to recognize them through all the hormones that are racing around inside their bodies (ATTITUDE ALERT!) but I know without a doubt that God will always bring them back.

Be blessed! Keep your eyes on our Sweet Jesus! ❀

Everyday Happy: Family Time

I learned long ago that family doesn’t always share the same DNA. I’ve instilled this in my kids because they have many “family” members, aunts and uncle and ME, that became like family.

Last Sunday we went to church with our “family.” I think that is why we had such a powerful experience, because we were all there together, praying together for the restoration of our hearts. That service was truly amazing!

Last night my “brother” came to visit and stay the weekend with us. He and hubby went out hunting with my brother-in-law and my nephew. Then my “sister” showed up to spend the night also. We all got to sit around after their unsuccessful hunting , laugh and goof off. It was fun and times like those really warm my heart.

Family is important. God made families from the very beginning.

“Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it.”

Sometimes God has a different “family” for you than the one that was given to you at birth. No doubt we are to love our birth family, but God also gives us an “inherited” family. Friends that know you inside and out and love you through and through!

Getting through life on our own is a lonely existence. I’m thankful for my “family.” We may not share DNA, but we share what I think is more special, we share a true love and connection of hearts. Thank you Jesus for my friends that became family!