Category: Bloom & Grow

Comparing & Insecurities

The devil whispers to us through our negative thoughts. I’ve always been a woman of insecurity. I am not thin like the models in magazines. I don’t have the best hair, fashionable clothes, and most of the time I don’t wear makeup.

Insecurity happens when we listen to the devils voice inside our heads. The voice saying that we aren’t good enough. We don’t know what we’re doing. We’re a bad parent, spouse, friend…These thoughts transform into insecurity and insecurity is a very close cousin to fear!

This is the devils favorite game to play with us! If he can wiggle into our thoughts, he can make you start with the, “what ifs.” Once that game starts it’s hard to kick that habit. It’s a game that I played, unknowingly, for most of my life! It’s hard to step out with courage and faith, if we have constant feelings of insecurity and negative beliefs in ourselves.

I recently read about insecurity in a devotional called, “No More Perfect Moms.”

Insecurity says, “I can’t.”

Confidence says, “I can because God will show me how!”

The easiest way to stop these feelings of insecurity is to realize that God is the main key to REAL confidence! Learn to look at yourself and your life through the eyes of how God sees you. You are beautifully and wonderfully made. Loved eternally by your one and true Creator. God doesn’t make junk!

Celebrate who you are, you were made for a purpose! You are enough! Learn to concentrate on your strengths. God endows each person with their own skills, gifts, and strengths. Yours are not meant for anyone else just as the strengths of others aren’t meant for you.

I was always comparing myself to other women. Thinking if I had what she had I’d finally be “happy.” If I could just get my kids to act better in public, I’d be less stressed out. If my husband would just spend more time with me I’d be happier. If I dressed a certain way I’d feel better. Constantly, comparing myself to others and what they have. Never being thankful for what I have…and I’ve been blessed with plenty!

Sometimes the devil is sneaky and I would compare myself to others without even really realizing it was happening. Comparing, I’ve learned, is a very slow process and causes real life problems. Before you know it, you lose touch with what you have. You lose gratification in your real life. The satisfaction with what you have erodes and you are left with feelings of jealousy and insecurity.

Comparing my life to the life of strangers on TV or in magazines or even friends was causing me to be discontent with my REAL life…My husband, my kids, and with myself.

The devil is a liar. A sneaky liar. He wears you down over time until you don’t remember what God has blessed you with.

The only way to stop this behavior is by leaning on Christ. Counting your blessings and submerging yourself in The Word. By doing these things I’ve begun to turn from the evil whisperings of the devil. Trust God with all of me. I know now that God has given me exactly what I need for now. I know that God has a plan for my life and the life of my family. There is so much freedom in believing in the TRUE love that God has for me.

Action: Do you ever feel insecure? Do you or have you ever had a problem with comparing yourself to others? I’d love to hear your story!

Be blessed. Keep your eyes on our Father! ❤

Advertisements

Learning About God’s Love

peach_rose1As a child I went to church with my grandparents. My grandmother went to Church of Christ and my granddaddy was a deacon at the local Assembly of God. Each of them taught Sunday school, but they were two totally different types of churches.

I was baptized in a Calvary Baptist church when I was a teenager, then my daddy passed away and I haven’t been back since. That is nearly 20 years.

I’ve always known that God existed, but I wouldn’t have called myself a Christian. In fact, I still don’t. To me, I haven’t earned that right yet, but I’m working on it. For now, I’m a believer/lover in Christ, but not yet educated enough to be a Christian. I’m not sure if that makes sense to you, but for now it’s where I’m at.

Since I’ve gotten older I’ve felt a craving or a yearning to know God more. I’m just starting my journey to the Almighty, but I’m thirsty to know more.

I think losing my daddy was the biggest reason for me leaving the church. I was a teenager when he passed and I was just so angry. I’m not sure if I was ever angry at God, but definitely confused, hurt, and afraid.

I spent a whole lot of years just angry at the world. Roaming around. I felt like I couldn’t breathe if I sat still too long and so I just kept running. I ran from the people that loved me the most, friends and family. I ran away from every responsibility I had. I ran away from what I knew was right.

I ran from God and hid.

I hid in drugs. I hid in alcohol. I hid in fake friends. I hid in partying, but most of all, I hid in anger and frustration and denial. Self-loathing. Misery. Destruction.

It took me YEARS to fight my way back to myself. When I finally did get clean, I was full of guilt and shame for what I had put my friends and family through for so long.

I thought, ”

How can anyone ever forgive me when I can’t forgive myself?

I thought I wasn’t deserving of forgiveness. I felt that I would never be able to hold my head up and look anyone in the eyes again. I felt beat down. I felt broken. I felt alone.

Through scripture I learned that you cannot do anything to earn God’s love. It’s given freely, unconditionally, and without us being deserving of it in the first place! That one realization changed everything! A everlasting spark lit me up on the inside! I remember the first time I read that…I was blown away! I cried! I smiled! I sighed a great sigh of relief!

I remember the prayer right after thanking Him for loving me although I was a simple flawed human that made mistake after mistake for YEARS!

I still make mistakes. I still struggle. I still fall short and disappoint my Father, but I know with all my heart that I will never be beaten down, broken, or alone again. I know God’s love.

My God is fierce.
My God is Almighty.
My God loves me, unconditionally.

It’s Time To Bloom & Grow

 

For a long time now I’ve been after myself to start new. To try to create new habits. To work on a healthier and happier me. To BLOOM & GROW!

I’ve always made excuses. I’ve put it off. I’ve become the Queen Of Procrastination…& now the time has come for me to make some big changes.

A lot of the time I’m the type of person that puts every one else first. As a fulltime hands on (step)mom of 3 and a wife to a very outdoorsy/outgoing guy, I usually put myself on the back burner. Not on purpose, but because of all the hustle around the house there just doesn’t seem to be enough hours in the day. (Which is WHY I’m beginning this blog at nearly midnight…I rest my case! lol)

This change isn’t because of New Year nostalgia. I’ve been preparing for this for a long time. I guess it’s God pushing me to bloom and grow, for Him, for myself, and for my family. Stay tuned!