Tag: Happiness

The Journey To Authenticity & My Mean Brain

A healthy challenge I’ve been assigned is to “reconnect & uncover” different parts of myself that have been buried under this world’s standards.

What are my gifts? Talents? Passions? Dislikes? Weaknesses? Interests? Eccentricities?

I’m supposed to truly take my time. Dig deep. Write down my answers, internalize them, and ACCEPT them.

I have a very hard time thinking about myself. I get into the negative thought processes of “Who are you? & Why do think you’re important enough to be thought of?”

I can now recognize this negative back talk for what it is and resist the thought of accepting it. Although, there are still many days where I feel undeserving of this unfathomable love that the Lord lavishes on “lil ol me.”

I am also advised to include others, by asking them about how they feel about me. My strengths & weaknesses. It’s even harder for me to talk about this stuff worth others. This exercise is going to totally push me out of my comfort zone.

Does anyone else struggle with this type of negative back talk from their brain? What do you do to quiet the thoughts?

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The Season Of Good & Hurtful Lessons

There have been so many changes. Some days I can barely keep up.

A very successful business created from nothing and made into something, nearly overnight. A move to a bigger house that has become our refuge against the world. A happy home. Smiling children. Content parents. Enough money to pay our bills on time and the ability to help others financially at times! I feel in this season we have all grown closer as a family. Open communication between teenagers and parents! (That is success!) I feel that our youngest is finally beginning to see the big picture. She’s gained so much maturity and has such a loving heart. So many good changes!

There have been losses. Major losses. Some so painful I’m afraid the holes in my heart will never heal. People lost that I thought would be side by side with us for a lifetime. Gone. Over night.

If this season in life has taught me anything, it’s taught me God is my provider. He’s always on time. Never late, but usually never early. It has taught me I can survive anything. Even if my brain is telling me I cannot go another step, He keeps me going. It has taught me about the type of woman, wife, and mother I want to be. It’s taught me, contrary to what my brain says sometimes, I’m very truly blessed beyond my dreams. It’s taught me to hang on to the good stuff and let go of the bad as soon as my heart can stand it.

Leaving 2017 behind and moving into 2018 soon brings so much hope and promise to my heart. I’m not sure what the future holds, but I know God hold my future and I know He has been persistent in loving me since before time began. I know I can move forward without fear.

Comparing & Insecurities

The devil whispers to us through our negative thoughts. I’ve always been a woman of insecurity. I am not thin like the models in magazines. I don’t have the best hair, fashionable clothes, and most of the time I don’t wear makeup.

Insecurity happens when we listen to the devils voice inside our heads. The voice saying that we aren’t good enough. We don’t know what we’re doing. We’re a bad parent, spouse, friend…These thoughts transform into insecurity and insecurity is a very close cousin to fear!

This is the devils favorite game to play with us! If he can wiggle into our thoughts, he can make you start with the, “what ifs.” Once that game starts it’s hard to kick that habit. It’s a game that I played, unknowingly, for most of my life! It’s hard to step out with courage and faith, if we have constant feelings of insecurity and negative beliefs in ourselves.

I recently read about insecurity in a devotional called, “No More Perfect Moms.”

Insecurity says, “I can’t.”

Confidence says, “I can because God will show me how!”

The easiest way to stop these feelings of insecurity is to realize that God is the main key to REAL confidence! Learn to look at yourself and your life through the eyes of how God sees you. You are beautifully and wonderfully made. Loved eternally by your one and true Creator. God doesn’t make junk!

Celebrate who you are, you were made for a purpose! You are enough! Learn to concentrate on your strengths. God endows each person with their own skills, gifts, and strengths. Yours are not meant for anyone else just as the strengths of others aren’t meant for you.

I was always comparing myself to other women. Thinking if I had what she had I’d finally be “happy.” If I could just get my kids to act better in public, I’d be less stressed out. If my husband would just spend more time with me I’d be happier. If I dressed a certain way I’d feel better. Constantly, comparing myself to others and what they have. Never being thankful for what I have…and I’ve been blessed with plenty!

Sometimes the devil is sneaky and I would compare myself to others without even really realizing it was happening. Comparing, I’ve learned, is a very slow process and causes real life problems. Before you know it, you lose touch with what you have. You lose gratification in your real life. The satisfaction with what you have erodes and you are left with feelings of jealousy and insecurity.

Comparing my life to the life of strangers on TV or in magazines or even friends was causing me to be discontent with my REAL life…My husband, my kids, and with myself.

The devil is a liar. A sneaky liar. He wears you down over time until you don’t remember what God has blessed you with.

The only way to stop this behavior is by leaning on Christ. Counting your blessings and submerging yourself in The Word. By doing these things I’ve begun to turn from the evil whisperings of the devil. Trust God with all of me. I know now that God has given me exactly what I need for now. I know that God has a plan for my life and the life of my family. There is so much freedom in believing in the TRUE love that God has for me.

Action: Do you ever feel insecure? Do you or have you ever had a problem with comparing yourself to others? I’d love to hear your story!

Be blessed. Keep your eyes on our Father! ❤