Tag: Love

UnBiological Mothers Day

It’s sooo easy in our daily lives to forget our worth as women. As wives. As mothers.

Mother’s Day is always a tough one for me. I have no biological children of my own. I do, however, have 3 beautiful children that I raise (as my own) each & every day. We’ve been a family for years now. They call me mama/mommy. They’re mine in every way except genetic makeup.

The enemy will use whatever he can to make you feel inferior. He’ll give you every lie that will rip up your insides. He’ll convince you you’re nothing. He’ll have you so confused, doubting yourself, if you let him!!

I got wrapped up in that negative self talk yesterday. It could’ve ruined my whole day, but instead God has surrounded me with people that know me. Love me. & refuse to let me discount the love my kids have for me. The blood, sweat, & tears I’ve given to raise them (just like everyday “real” mom’s.)

The enemy will never stop his lying trash talk, but luckily for us God goes before us ☆&☆ walks with us. We are never alone. He puts beautiful people in our lives so that when we do stumble or just feel like we’re just so unworthy, they can speak TRUTH & LIFE back into our hurting souls. People that can say, “Hey I know this is what you are thinking, but here’s REALITY!”

Biology is the least important factor in being a mother. Time. Love. Tears. Laughter. Prayers. Those ALL count more. Thank you Father for teaching this mother a very important lesson on Mother’s Day. ♡

Learning About God’s Love

peach_rose1As a child I went to church with my grandparents. My grandmother went to Church of Christ and my granddaddy was a deacon at the local Assembly of God. Each of them taught Sunday school, but they were two totally different types of churches.

I was baptized in a Calvary Baptist church when I was a teenager, then my daddy passed away and I haven’t been back since. That is nearly 20 years.

I’ve always known that God existed, but I wouldn’t have called myself a Christian. In fact, I still don’t. To me, I haven’t earned that right yet, but I’m working on it. For now, I’m a believer/lover in Christ, but not yet educated enough to be a Christian. I’m not sure if that makes sense to you, but for now it’s where I’m at.

Since I’ve gotten older I’ve felt a craving or a yearning to know God more. I’m just starting my journey to the Almighty, but I’m thirsty to know more.

I think losing my daddy was the biggest reason for me leaving the church. I was a teenager when he passed and I was just so angry. I’m not sure if I was ever angry at God, but definitely confused, hurt, and afraid.

I spent a whole lot of years just angry at the world. Roaming around. I felt like I couldn’t breathe if I sat still too long and so I just kept running. I ran from the people that loved me the most, friends and family. I ran away from every responsibility I had. I ran away from what I knew was right.

I ran from God and hid.

I hid in drugs. I hid in alcohol. I hid in fake friends. I hid in partying, but most of all, I hid in anger and frustration and denial. Self-loathing. Misery. Destruction.

It took me YEARS to fight my way back to myself. When I finally did get clean, I was full of guilt and shame for what I had put my friends and family through for so long.

I thought, ”

How can anyone ever forgive me when I can’t forgive myself?

I thought I wasn’t deserving of forgiveness. I felt that I would never be able to hold my head up and look anyone in the eyes again. I felt beat down. I felt broken. I felt alone.

Through scripture I learned that you cannot do anything to earn God’s love. It’s given freely, unconditionally, and without us being deserving of it in the first place! That one realization changed everything! A everlasting spark lit me up on the inside! I remember the first time I read that…I was blown away! I cried! I smiled! I sighed a great sigh of relief!

I remember the prayer right after thanking Him for loving me although I was a simple flawed human that made mistake after mistake for YEARS!

I still make mistakes. I still struggle. I still fall short and disappoint my Father, but I know with all my heart that I will never be beaten down, broken, or alone again. I know God’s love.

My God is fierce.
My God is Almighty.
My God loves me, unconditionally.