Let God Steer

Jesus Take The Wheel…It’s one of my little sisters favorite sayings whenever someone says something crazy or if the kids are being a little chaotic and driving her nuts. 🙂 To her it’s a way of asking God to bring some clarity or peace, but also a bit silly, cuz it’s a country song by Carrie Underwood.

I don’t think I’ve ever used those words with any type of seriousness. I’ve always been quite content with steering my own life. My own car. I’ve always found my own “peace.” Made my own way. Kept y kids from chos on my own…I control every aspect of my life and the lives around me.

I’m beginning to see that type of behavior leaves me exhausted, irritated, and alone.

It leaves me exhausted because I run around doing everything, all the time. No rest. No real sleep. No real peace. Everything has to be done my way, so I don’t ask for help. Then what I’ve done I question whether or not it will be up to other peoples standards, so I redo whatever I’ve already done. It’s a neverending vicious cycle. A merry-go-round that is spinning to fast to get off of.

I work and work and work and then I find myself irritated for working so hard and nobody helps me. Not that I’d let them do anything if they asked, but I find it easy to be mad over my expectations of what they SHOULD be doing. For example, my family cleans on Saturday mornings. We have done that for a long time, but no kid wants to spend their Saturday morning cleaning their room, so I have to “nag” until they get it done. Now, in my mind I know they’re kids and they don’t want to clean, but my expection for them in my brain says they should WANT to live in a clean home. Boom, irritation sets in and usually ruins our Saturday.

Before I realize it, I’m alone. I’ve either argued or nagged or controlled them until they either avoid me or resent me. I attempt to “help” the adults in my life with advice they’ve not asked for, so much so that I’ve been labelled a bully and bossy. In my heart, I mean well, but I push and push and push them away.

i know I do this controlling because I’m afraid of anyone else having control over me. I’ve lived the wild side, I know that ride all too well…I wonder if that is also why I tend to be a buttoned up, things are either black or white kind of person.

I’ve said all of this to say, it’s time to make some changes in my life. It’s time to trust in God. To allow him to work in my life and in my mind. To be set free of all that I fear and all that I worry about day after day. I’m quite positive I cannot do it alone. Only God knows why I have the brain I have, surely it is for His glory although I don’t see how it could possibly be helpful…He doesn’t make mistakes.<3

Father God:

Thank you for this morning of revelation. Thank you for granting me the ability to talk with you and figure out my issues and helping me to grow into the woman you created me to be. I don’t have it all figured out Lord and usually that is a scary place for me, but maybe that’s my problem. Maybe I need to take a few baby steps into the unknown and just be. Maybe I need to sit back, shut up, ad hang on.

Father, my life is yours to steer. Help me to no be fearful of what I don’t know and don’t control. Help me to ask for help when I need it, even if it’s not up to my usual standards or it’s done differently from how I’d do it. Help me to be more patient and show grace towards others. Help me to not have expectations for other people and their lives.

In Jesus Name I Pray, Amen. ❤

The Journey To Authenticity & My Mean Brain

A healthy challenge I’ve been assigned is to “reconnect & uncover” different parts of myself that have been buried under this world’s standards.

What are my gifts? Talents? Passions? Dislikes? Weaknesses? Interests? Eccentricities?

I’m supposed to truly take my time. Dig deep. Write down my answers, internalize them, and ACCEPT them.

I have a very hard time thinking about myself. I get into the negative thought processes of “Who are you? & Why do think you’re important enough to be thought of?”

I can now recognize this negative back talk for what it is and resist the thought of accepting it. Although, there are still many days where I feel undeserving of this unfathomable love that the Lord lavishes on “lil ol me.”

I am also advised to include others, by asking them about how they feel about me. My strengths & weaknesses. It’s even harder for me to talk about this stuff worth others. This exercise is going to totally push me out of my comfort zone.

Does anyone else struggle with this type of negative back talk from their brain? What do you do to quiet the thoughts?

The Season Of Good & Hurtful Lessons

There have been so many changes. Some days I can barely keep up.

A very successful business created from nothing and made into something, nearly overnight. A move to a bigger house that has become our refuge against the world. A happy home. Smiling children. Content parents. Enough money to pay our bills on time and the ability to help others financially at times! I feel in this season we have all grown closer as a family. Open communication between teenagers and parents! (That is success!) I feel that our youngest is finally beginning to see the big picture. She’s gained so much maturity and has such a loving heart. So many good changes!

There have been losses. Major losses. Some so painful I’m afraid the holes in my heart will never heal. People lost that I thought would be side by side with us for a lifetime. Gone. Over night.

If this season in life has taught me anything, it’s taught me God is my provider. He’s always on time. Never late, but usually never early. It has taught me I can survive anything. Even if my brain is telling me I cannot go another step, He keeps me going. It has taught me about the type of woman, wife, and mother I want to be. It’s taught me, contrary to what my brain says sometimes, I’m very truly blessed beyond my dreams. It’s taught me to hang on to the good stuff and let go of the bad as soon as my heart can stand it.

Leaving 2017 behind and moving into 2018 soon brings so much hope and promise to my heart. I’m not sure what the future holds, but I know God hold my future and I know He has been persistent in loving me since before time began. I know I can move forward without fear.

UnBiological Mothers Day

It’s sooo easy in our daily lives to forget our worth as women. As wives. As mothers.

Mother’s Day is always a tough one for me. I have no biological children of my own. I do, however, have 3 beautiful children that I raise (as my own) each & every day. We’ve been a family for years now. They call me mama/mommy. They’re mine in every way except genetic makeup.

The enemy will use whatever he can to make you feel inferior. He’ll give you every lie that will rip up your insides. He’ll convince you you’re nothing. He’ll have you so confused, doubting yourself, if you let him!!

I got wrapped up in that negative self talk yesterday. It could’ve ruined my whole day, but instead God has surrounded me with people that know me. Love me. & refuse to let me discount the love my kids have for me. The blood, sweat, & tears I’ve given to raise them (just like everyday “real” mom’s.)

The enemy will never stop his lying trash talk, but luckily for us God goes before us ☆&☆ walks with us. We are never alone. He puts beautiful people in our lives so that when we do stumble or just feel like we’re just so unworthy, they can speak TRUTH & LIFE back into our hurting souls. People that can say, “Hey I know this is what you are thinking, but here’s REALITY!”

Biology is the least important factor in being a mother. Time. Love. Tears. Laughter. Prayers. Those ALL count more. Thank you Father for teaching this mother a very important lesson on Mother’s Day. ♡

Everyday Happy: A Whistle While I Work

I was listening to a Podcast this last week that talked about doing everything for God with JOY! It said, no matter what it was, do it 100% and do it for God. Whether you’re the CEO of a major corporation or a stay-at-home mom, do your “job” to the best of your ability and do it for our Father!

This devo really got to my heart! As a stay-at-home mom I always have plenty to do. I choose to be home with my kids. I love being able to be with them, but at the same time, day after day of the same routine gets old. And I, like most people that do the same thing day after day, sometimes do so grudgingly. It’s easy to get into a bad habit of doing it, just to have it done. In this, I am guilty.

So anyway, after hearing this Podcast I decided that I would do the laundry, WITH PURPOSE! Ha! The whole time I was doing it I was talking to God!

“Lord, I know you said to do this laundry for YOU! Lord, I know that it should be done 100% for YOUR glory, Lord I HATE LAUNDRY!! 🙂

That was the first chore I chose to do that day. I went on to each chore that day, “trying” to do my “best.” I just couldn’t get into the swing of it. I know, I felt like I should have it more together than this. I mean, in the big scheme of things this should’ve been the EASIEST thing that I could’ve been called to do. I love my family, why couldn’t I just enjoy doing it!? I mean, I love them. I love that I’m able to be home with them each day, so WHY COULDN’T I JUST GET IT DONE WITH JOY!? I kept on trying at it all week…

This morning, I noticed a definite change! While cleaning out the cabinets and rearranging the kitchen I realized I was WHISTLING worship songs! My heart was happy and I was joyful while cleaning the kitchen. After that, after realizing that I CAN enjoy every chore, while doing it for the glory of God, I did it ON PURPOSE the rest of the day! (Even while doing laundry!!)

I LOVE how the Lord works! It never ceases to AMAZE ME!

Today I was happy about working 100% for God, even in my own small way! Find something that needs to be done, no matter the size of the task, and set your heart to doing it for our Father! Honor Him. ❤

 

Love Like Jesus Does

I’ve heard all my life how much Jesus loves me. From the beginning, into eternity. The first Bible school song I ever learned was, “Jesus Loves Me.” I used to sing it all day long. To schoool and home. To church and home. i would belt out that song as a child and it would fill my heart with happiness.

What I’m just learning is HOW Jesus loves me. He loves me when I follow Him. He loves me when I stray. He loves me when I love others. He loves me when I do not. His love for me and others is eternal. Meaning, not just as I walk this earth, but into forever.

I’m also learning as an adult, for the first time, that I did absolutely NOTHING to gain his love. Although I’ve never been worthy of His love, He loves me just the same. I have spent years and years hating myself. Feeling that I wasn’t worthy of any type of love, yet here He is with his mercy & forgiveness.

As a person, I’ve been a decent one. I’m not a murderer. I’m not a thief. We as a society have become so tolerant of misbehavior that we make excuses for sin. But the Bible explains that there is no greater sin than another sin. A sin, is a sin, is a sin. I thought I was a good person because I hadn’t killed anyone, but my daily sins keep my soul as black as a murderers. Pride, jealousy, hatred, unforgiveness. These are all things that I’ve been guilty of throughout my whole life, like most other people.

Though I fail my Father everyday, I know that through Jesus Christ I am forgiven. If Jesus can forgive me the things I’ve done and love me through it all, who am I to be unforgiving? Who am to judge? Who am I to hold hatred in my heart?

Lord, Help me to cling to You each day! Put my hand in Your hand. Help me to walk with You everyday of my life. Help me know the TRUE meaning of loving like Jesus loves! Help me to let go of these earthly feelings and only look to YOU for answers and acceptance. I know Jesus died for me. I know that he was resurrected! I know the battle that He fought for me. I know the pain He felt for me. Lord, help me to LOVE like Jesus does. In Jesus name, AMEN!

Praying With My Kids

Nothing in this world feels as good as seeing your kids bow their heads and pray to our Heavenly Father.

This week I’ve been making sure to take time to pray with my kids. All of us in a circle, holding hands, as a family. One unit. It’s powerful people!

It feels my heart to the point of overflowing to talk to my kids about what they want to pray about. Who they want to pray for. What they want to give thanks for from that day.

Some day they will pray with their children, hand and hand, as a family. Someday I will get to take my grandchildren to church with me. All because of the habits and traditions we are learning and making today.

Tonight our oldest wanted to pray about his exams he’s taking tomorrow. Our middle son wanted to pray for his tooth that has been fixed several times. (He broke it at the end of school last year on a scooter) Our youngest surprised me tonight with saying that she wanted to pray for us all to be happy every day. They also prayed for all of our family to join us at church soon. They prayed for their birth mother, as we do every night. They each were filled with thanks also: good weather, family time together, life.

Each child is so different, yet so much alike. They each have amazing hearts. They think of others. They think of each other. I really believe I was blessed with the BEST kids a mom could ever ask for. Thank you sweet Lord for blessing me with more than I deserve. Thank you for my husband and my children.

I’m a simple woman. I enjoy a simple life. I love simple (yet overwhelming) times with my children.

Yesterday evening my two youngest told me that they have started praying before they eat at school. My youngest said that she prayed before her spelling test yesterday (she scored a 105!)

I love that the changes that I started making in my own life are spilling over into the lives of my children. That they are believers & doers & learning to walk with Christ! This fills my heart! I am one joyous Mama!

I know that raising kids is hard. I know that they won’t always stay on track and at times it will be difficult to recognize them through all the hormones that are racing around inside their bodies (ATTITUDE ALERT!) but I know without a doubt that God will always bring them back.

Be blessed! Keep your eyes on our Sweet Jesus! ❤

Everyday Happy: Family Time

I learned long ago that family doesn’t always share the same DNA. I’ve instilled this in my kids because they have many “family” members, aunts and uncle and ME, that became like family.

Last Sunday we went to church with our “family.” I think that is why we had such a powerful experience, because we were all there together, praying together for the restoration of our hearts. That service was truly amazing!

Last night my “brother” came to visit and stay the weekend with us. He and hubby went out hunting with my brother-in-law and my nephew. Then my “sister” showed up to spend the night also. We all got to sit around after their unsuccessful hunting , laugh and goof off. It was fun and times like those really warm my heart.

Family is important. God made families from the very beginning.

“Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it.”

Sometimes God has a different “family” for you than the one that was given to you at birth. No doubt we are to love our birth family, but God also gives us an “inherited” family. Friends that know you inside and out and love you through and through!

Getting through life on our own is a lonely existence. I’m thankful for my “family.” We may not share DNA, but we share what I think is more special, we share a true love and connection of hearts. Thank you Jesus for my friends that became family!

Comparing & Insecurities

The devil whispers to us through our negative thoughts. I’ve always been a woman of insecurity. I am not thin like the models in magazines. I don’t have the best hair, fashionable clothes, and most of the time I don’t wear makeup.

Insecurity happens when we listen to the devils voice inside our heads. The voice saying that we aren’t good enough. We don’t know what we’re doing. We’re a bad parent, spouse, friend…These thoughts transform into insecurity and insecurity is a very close cousin to fear!

This is the devils favorite game to play with us! If he can wiggle into our thoughts, he can make you start with the, “what ifs.” Once that game starts it’s hard to kick that habit. It’s a game that I played, unknowingly, for most of my life! It’s hard to step out with courage and faith, if we have constant feelings of insecurity and negative beliefs in ourselves.

I recently read about insecurity in a devotional called, “No More Perfect Moms.”

Insecurity says, “I can’t.”

Confidence says, “I can because God will show me how!”

The easiest way to stop these feelings of insecurity is to realize that God is the main key to REAL confidence! Learn to look at yourself and your life through the eyes of how God sees you. You are beautifully and wonderfully made. Loved eternally by your one and true Creator. God doesn’t make junk!

Celebrate who you are, you were made for a purpose! You are enough! Learn to concentrate on your strengths. God endows each person with their own skills, gifts, and strengths. Yours are not meant for anyone else just as the strengths of others aren’t meant for you.

I was always comparing myself to other women. Thinking if I had what she had I’d finally be “happy.” If I could just get my kids to act better in public, I’d be less stressed out. If my husband would just spend more time with me I’d be happier. If I dressed a certain way I’d feel better. Constantly, comparing myself to others and what they have. Never being thankful for what I have…and I’ve been blessed with plenty!

Sometimes the devil is sneaky and I would compare myself to others without even really realizing it was happening. Comparing, I’ve learned, is a very slow process and causes real life problems. Before you know it, you lose touch with what you have. You lose gratification in your real life. The satisfaction with what you have erodes and you are left with feelings of jealousy and insecurity.

Comparing my life to the life of strangers on TV or in magazines or even friends was causing me to be discontent with my REAL life…My husband, my kids, and with myself.

The devil is a liar. A sneaky liar. He wears you down over time until you don’t remember what God has blessed you with.

The only way to stop this behavior is by leaning on Christ. Counting your blessings and submerging yourself in The Word. By doing these things I’ve begun to turn from the evil whisperings of the devil. Trust God with all of me. I know now that God has given me exactly what I need for now. I know that God has a plan for my life and the life of my family. There is so much freedom in believing in the TRUE love that God has for me.

Action: Do you ever feel insecure? Do you or have you ever had a problem with comparing yourself to others? I’d love to hear your story!

Be blessed. Keep your eyes on our Father! ❤

Everyday Happy: New Faith & I’m A Sponge!

I was lost, but now I’m found! 🙂 Since rededicating my life I’ve been thirsty for The Word! I just want to soak it all up! I’m flying through pages left and right. I just can’t get enough. We went to church for the first …